Un-Break My Heart
by Jedi Aeryn
Summary: Originally published on ezboard. It originally had an epilogue and a post-epilogue, so I put it in the form of three chapters. J/A
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: I didn't create the Farscape universe or it's characters. I'm just borrowing them for a while, but I promise to give them back relatively unscathed. Since I did not create this world, any reader is permitted to reproduce this story for their uses, as long as they keep my handle attatched to it. I also did not write, produce, sing, lip-synch, or belch backward the song "Un-Break My Heart". It is owned by Toni Braxton and whoever her record label is. I don't have any money, anyway, so, big corporate guys, dont bother suing me- unless you want my Farscape tapes, which I will fight to the death for.  
  
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Rating: PG  
  
Setting: Talyn, Uncharted Territories (some time in the not-too-distant- future... say mid-to-end-season three)  
  
Spoilers: Eat Me (minor)  
  
Classification: One-Way Shippy  
  
Note: If you do not like seeing Aeryn's weaker moments, do not read this fic  
  
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Don't leave me in all this pain  
  
Don't leave me out in the rain  
  
Come back and bring back my smile  
  
Come and take these tears away  
  
I need your arms to hold me now  
  
The nights are so unkind  
  
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
Say you'll love me again  
  
Undo this hurt you caused  
  
When you walked out the door  
  
And walked outta my life  
  
Un-cry these tears  
  
I cried so many nights  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
My heart  
  
Take back that sad word good-bye  
  
Bring back the joy to my life  
  
Don't leave me here with these tears  
  
Come and kiss this pain away  
  
I can't forget the day you left  
  
Time is so unkind  
  
And life is so cruel without you here beside me  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
Say you'll love me again  
  
Undo this hurt you caused  
  
When you walked out the door  
  
And walked outta my life  
  
Un-cry these tears  
  
I cried so many nights  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
My heart  
  
Don't leave me in all this pain  
  
Don't leave me out in the rain  
  
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
Say you'll love me again  
  
Undo this hurt you caused  
  
When you walked out the door  
  
And walked outta my life  
  
Un-cry these tears  
  
I cried so many, many nights  
  
Un-break my  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
Come back and say you love me  
  
Un-break my heart  
  
Sweet darlin'  
  
Without you I just can't go on  
  
Can't go on  
  
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Aeryn Sun lay on her bed, doing something she had never before been compelled to do. She was crying, crying with all her body and soul could muster. She began to whisper to John, as if he were there with her.  
  
"I have never been in so much. pain, so much agony, John Crichton. Less than a cycle ago, I did not even realize that I had a heart. Now I believe mine is broken. All I feel is pain. bitter agony and raw suffering.  
  
"I coped quite well when John aboard Moya chose to take his own life rather than be captured by the Peacekeepers. I mourned his loss, but I was glad in a twisted sort of way. I was glad that I could love the John here with me without feeling guilt because of the other one.  
  
"But then you left me, John. Talyn stumbled across another wormhole. It was like you were possessed. I couldn't stop you. You were overcome by your desire to go back to your own frelling planet full of beings just like you! And you left me here, John Crichton. You gave me a kiss goodbye and said you'd never forget me. Then you hit the door control, which you had finally mastered, and walked out.  
  
"You know, I loved the rain when we were standing in it together on the Ancients' Earth. But now, I think I know what it would be like to be caught in it without someone. I feel cold, and I feel alone. You have left me trapped in a torrential downpour from inside myself.  
  
"And here I am, John. I'm crying- crying for you. I miss being held by you. I miss the whispers, and even the frelling fights. All I know now is that I hurt from the inside out, and it's because you're gone. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you find anything more important than the person who you said was the love of your life? Come back to me, John. Take it all away. Take away my pain, my tears, my broken heart.  
  
"Just a kiss, John. Just a touch. Just any way of saying that you still love me. Is that too much to ask of the first and only person who I've ever allowed into my heart? Is this my reward, for, quote, becoming more? Is this it- to be left with only emptiness and tears?  
  
"I have no one now. No one here cares for me. Not like you did. Frell it, John, I'm here with the insane babbler, the dominar of helium farts, and Captain Kangaroo! I can't even stop using your frelling phrases! I can't escape you, John. You've become too much a part of me.  
  
"To make all of this worse, I can't forget when you left. I can't stop replaying that day in my mind. All I see is you walking out over and over, and I feel a fresh shot of pain every time. Why, John, why? How can you leave me here to hurt like this? How can you just let me cry like this?  
  
"John, I can't go on without you. This must have been love in its purest and truest form, because I feel helpless. I feel like an abandoned child in a crowded street. I'm frozen in place. I don't want to go forward, because that means going on forever without the only person I've ever loved. and the only one I ever will."  
  
Aeryn buried her tearstained face in her pillow. This would be another night like so many before- full of soul-racking sobs and more tears than her eyes should have been able to produce. She hated that she had let anyone affect her this much. What happened to the warrior, she wondered.  
  
"That was beautiful," came a voice from the door. Aeryn looked up, her eyes widening.  
  
But no. It was only Crais. Aeryn was suddenly overtaken with anger. "How could you?" she shrieked. "How could you just sit there and lap up all of my pain like it was raslak? Get out, Bilar Crais!" Aeryn stomped to him and punched him in the face. "Get out!"  
  
Crais slinked away, and Aeryn sank onto her bed, allowing the tears to flow once more. 


	2. Epilogue

An arn later, Captain Bilar Crais returned to Aeryn's quarters. He looked anxious, and even... guilty? He stood in Aeryn's chamber, shaky and cautious.  
  
Aeryn finally broke the silence with a half yell that lost it's strength when her voice cracked. "Crais! What the frell do you want? Get frelling out of my sight!"  
  
Crais shifted his weight, looking even more uncomfortable. Aeryn could tell he was about to speak, and that she wouldn't like what he was going to say. He was moving the words around in his mouth as though they were stale food cubes.  
  
"Officer Sun," he addressed her at last. "I think there's something you should know." He hesitated. "C-Commander Crichton never... er... he never left this ship."  
  
"WHAT?" Aeryn shrieked.  
  
"He's... he's in one of the prison cells on Talyn's lower level. I... I intercepted John on his way to the maintenance bay and took him captive. This was not an easy task," he added, pulling down his collar to reveal a nasty gash on his neck, then raising a sleeve to show what appeared to be bite marks. One of Talyn's DRD's sedated him, and I took him down to the cells, where I assumed you'd never find him."  
  
"Crais! You're a..." she proceeded to call him several choice expletives in every language she'd ever heard. Finally, she glared at Crais even harder and asked, "What about the module?"  
  
"Talyn... and I... ejected his module from the maintenance bay. When you found it gone, you believed that he had actually returned to his planet and abandoned you."  
  
Aeryn's face was a unique mixture of anger, relief, disbelief, and pure hatred. When she composed herself into a Peacekeeper calm, she asked him, "Why?"  
  
Crais's discomfort seemed to escalate. "I... I wanted you all to myself," he muttered.  
  
Aeryn's eyes widened. "You hid the man I love from me in hopes that I would love you instead? Bilar Crais, you know nothing about love! You only know about competition, destroying rivals, breaking spirits!" Aeryn threw all of her strength into the Pentak jab she delivered to Crais. He fell to the floor. Aeryn began to kick him as hard as she could. The kicking seemed to stimulate his return to consciousness, and he awoke only thirty microts later.  
  
Shrieking like a wounded animal, Crais managed to pick himself up and run from the room, slapping a door control as he went. "Talyn, lock her in!" he commanded. Talyn obliged, and the corridor was soon filled with the slightly muffled sound of Aeryn kicking and punching the door and yelling at Talyn to open it.  
  
Aeryn fought and screamed for a while before stalking back to her bed. She picked up her pillow and began to beat it- punching and kicking for all she was worth. "To think that I was crying into this only an arn ago," he said out loud, her voice full of bitterness. She hurled the pillow onto her bed just as the door to her corridor hissed open.  
  
Aeryn crouched down, preparing to beat up that, she called him something very bad in her mind, when he entered. But it was not Crais that entered. Moving with a stumbling motion as though he'd been hastily pushed inside, John Crichton entered the room. Aeryn noticed that John was considerably thinner and had a few bruises. She made a mental note to kick Crais's eema so hard that it came out his mouth and back up itself for doing this to John.  
  
However, she was too choked with emotion to worry about Crais now. Her anger and hatred drained away as she ran to John, who held out his arms.  
  
Aeryn wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all that her body and soul could muster. 


	3. Post-Epilogue

Aeryn Sun awakened to find herself holding her pillow as tight as she could. Her body was wrapped around it so tightly that it wouldn't have been able to breathe, had it been alive. She looked out the window of the quarters that were now hers, that were once hers and John's. She saw a sea of darkness, with miniscule bits of light floating there.  
  
As she stared she had to fight for comprehension. What was going on here? Where was John? Blinking, Aeryn stalked out of her room, still wearing her sleeveless shirt and Calvins.  
  
She stormed down the corridor and came to Crais' quarters. She slapped the controls and ran inside. She ran to Crais' bedside and leaned over him. She just stared at his eyelids for a second, with a hard, cold glare. Finally, she leaned down so that her face was inches from his, and screamed his name.  
  
Bilar Crais jumped so high that his forehead hit Aeryn's. He raised his hand to his head, and squinted around. After a few blinks, he looked wearily up at Aeryn. "Officer Sun? Did you need something?"  
  
"Did I need something!" she echoed angrily. "Frell yes I need something! Where is he?"  
  
Still blinking and moving his head as though he were trying to rid himself of a stiff neck, Crais responded, "Where is... who?"  
  
"John!"  
  
Genuinely confused, Crais answered, "Commander Crichton left this ship for home three solar days ago, Officer Sun."  
  
"Frell he did! You took him prisoner! Now what the frell have you done with him?"  
  
"I did no such thing," Crais replied calmly.  
  
"You yotz, don't lie to me!" Aeryn shrieked.  
  
"I am not lying to you, Aeryn. Commander Crichton is gone. He left. He went through the wormhole and is on Earth. I thought you understood that." Crais reached out a hand toward her shoulder, a mere silhouette against the starlit chamber.  
  
Aeryn reached up and slapped his hand viciously. He quickly withdrew it. "Have you been... dreaming, Officer Sun?" he inquired.  
  
"No. No, that wasn't a dream. It couldn't have been. He... he came back!" Aeryn spoke.  
  
"No, Aeryn. He did not. John Crichton left us three days ago. He has not returned. You must have been dreaming. Now go back to bed." Crais spoke with as much gentleness as Aeryn had ever heard in his voice. Aeryn slowly recalled what now seemed to be a dream. He had said that he cared for her. That part must have been true, she thought bitterly.  
  
Once again, Aeryn Sun was overcome with emotion. A fresh wave of pain shot over her, andshe ran back to her own quarters. She threw herself back onto the bed and allowed the tears to flow once more.  
  
THE END 


End file.
